


You're toxic I'm slipping under

by BittersweetMeph



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mild Language, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Police, Police AU, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-13 12:23:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9123436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BittersweetMeph/pseuds/BittersweetMeph
Summary: Police AU where Alex works as a cop and he's assigned to the case which is similar to the case Miles was investigating two years ago and Turner needs his help with tying up evidences.Except Kane is considered a traitor now and is hated by the whole police department.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry at all.
> 
> Yes, the title is a Britney Spears' song.

" _’Kane M.’_ ”, Alex muttered angrily under his breath looking at the file in his hands.  
His boss spared him a glance but said nothing. Alex shifted in his seat clearly uncomfortable. Whether it was because of the material of the chair or the information their boss provided was questionable.  
“Come on, Al”, Annalise, his colleague, tapped him on the shoulder and stood from her seat expecting Alex to follow her. He did but only after snapping file shut in annoyance.

“Unbelievable”, Alex threw the said file on his desk. “Out of all cops who could have this case we got that fucker”  
“We don’t know that yet. Schmidt said that Kane was assigned to _similar_ case. Yes, maybe his notes will help us but we can’t be sure we’re dealing with the same people here”  
Turner crossed his arms and pouted his lips slightly.  
Ann deeply sighed. She had to deal with this man-child every day. Sometimes she regretted having Alex as her work partner. It was one of those times.  
But she couldn’t fully blame Alex. Miles Kane was…something. In the police department his name was a synonym of betrayal. Ann and Alex started working here after Kane quitted. It was two years already and the name was brought up more and more rarely.  
Until that moment. Until their boss called them to her office. _“I think this can help”_.  
And that’s where there were.  
By Alex’ table covered in notes and papers connected with their current case and one big new file on top which contained similar case that was led by Miles Kane.  
Alex wanted to get drunk. He wanted to get so drunk he would forget about his duties. He wanted to be blissfully oblivious. He didn’t want any more work. They were brainstorming their case for solid month and a half. And…they got nothing. The more they tried to dig, the more lost they became.  
“I’m gonna get coffee”, Turner took his coat and headed towards the exit. As much as he liked being protected by his police vest he didn’t want to bring attention to himself in such places as coffee-shops.  
“Uh-huh”, Ann hummed without lifting her eyes from the papers they were given just five minutes ago. She didn’t have to ask Alex to bring her some as well since it was their unspoken agreement that he would.

By the time Turner came back he was already halfway through his cup and he looked more alive than he did previously. He handed the second cup to Ann which made her tear her eyes away from the paper.  
“Got something?”, Alex didn’t sound particularly hopeful.  
“Yeah, actually. Here, check this out”, she turned the file and pointed at some scribbled notes with her finger. “One of the busiest days of the month in the bank. A lot of people. Suddenly the room fills up with red gas. Non-toxic but extremely opaque. A gang comes in and robes everyone. The vault is not opened. ATMs are safe. Sounds familiar, right?”  
“So, what, literally the same case?”, Alex tossed few notes away from the report.  
“No. They didn’t shoot as our gang”  
Sometimes it was funny to call criminals “their”.  
Alex rubbed his eyes and sighed. He remembered the hole in the ceiling which he observed almost five weeks ago. Was it five weeks?… Felt more like an endless spiral of tiredness, coffee, stress and more tiredness. It was overwhelming.  
“And if that’s the same group then than means?… They changed their morals? They got worse after two years? What?”  
Ann lowered her eyes and mindlessly shuffled the papers.  
“Maybe they didn’t have a reason to shoot two years ago”  
Alex sighed again and heavily plunged onto his chair. He mentally prepared himself for another sleepless night.

***

“Miss Hogarth. Mister Turner. I suppose you made some progress on your case. It’s been four days”, Schmidt intertwined her fingers and placed her wrists on the table. Her lips were pursed in a tight line.  
It was way too early for all of them.  
Two employees guiltily looked away.  
“The Kane’s case. It…it’s not finished. It gets messy after the murder of that man - I forgot his name - he was a suspect who may have sold red gas. Police found him but…He was shot before they brought him to police station”, Ann said carefully. Or maybe she was just sleep-deprived. Probably both.  
“Did you know this?”, asked Alex.  
Nicole sat back in her chair.  
“No. If he was just a suspect then nobody would make a fuss out of this. And I’ve never read the case fully”  
“But you gave it to us”, Ann squinted her eyes.  
“Listen… When Kane was investigating this I was in your position. I heard bits and bobs about this robbery. And then…After what happened afterwards I didn’t want to see any mentions of Kane’s name.”  
There was a silence in the room. Nobody wanted to talk about it. It was hard for Nicole to remember so she just stopped following the trail of her thoughts, at least out loud. And Alex and Ann knew too little to add something to the conversation.  
“Alright. Keep working”, she made a gesture which meant that there would be no further discussion and that they should be getting out of her office already.

***

It was late. So late Alex had decided to go home. Ann was long gone since she stayed until one a.m. the previous day.  
Turner’s eyes were killing him with pain. He knew rubbing them wouldn’t do any good but he did it anyway.  
Shutting down his computer he grabbed his coat and struggled with putting it on.  
Somewhere on his left he heard the door being locked and then the sound of heels.  
“Thought you’d be home by now”, Alex managed to put one arm in the sleeve.  
“I wish”, answered Nicole.  
She approached him and lingered for a moment.  
“Alex”  
He fully turned towards her.  
“I think we have to ask Kane’s help”  
“I beg your pardon?”, he was sure he misheard it.  
“It’s been almost two months. And you’re still where you were at the beginning. As much as I hate to admit it…but Kane knew a lot. And he would’ve finished this case”  
Alex froze with his coat dangling from one shoulder.  
Schmidt saw lack of enthusiasm from her colleague.  
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow”

 

***

“Miles fucking Kane”  
Alex didn’t even try to hide to annoyance.  
“Remind me, please, once again why are we doing this?”, Ann was on a brisk on getting the hell out of the office since she heard about Nicole’s idea.  
“Because we’re losing time”, Schmidt was walking behind her chair, unable to sit calmly in it. “If they stick to their schedule then we won’t see them in another two years. Or maybe they’re planning on doing another attack. Kane got closer to them. Closer than anyone else”  
It was basically the end of the discussion. Nicole ensured that she would pick a place for their meeting herself on a neutral territory.  
When the door behind Alex and Ann closed Turner suddenly came back to the office.  
He walked around the table and stood in front of Schmidt.  
“What do you want, Mr. Turner?”  
“Do you really think we could trust him?”  
“I don’t know”

 

***

The place for their meeting was a small quiet restaurant on Arundel Street in the centre of Sheffield. Alex mentally thanked Nicole for her choice.  
The staff of Silversmiths politely stepped back at the sight of two police officers. Ann and Alex looked around and noticed their target. Turner remembered him from the photo in the personal file but now it was a completely different man.  
Fit and confident - nothing like the innocent smiling man in white shirt and a tie from the photo. Now he was wearing a dark-blue suit with a black shirt and a black tie underneath it.  
Kane put one of his legs on top of the other and he was lazily sipping coffee. He looked like he owned the place.  
Alex immediately didn’t like him.  
When the two approached his table, Kane lifted his eyes and studied the new-comers.  
Ann cleared her throat.  
“Mr. Kane, I believe?”  
“Yeah”, he didn’t smile but his eyes bared a hint of mockery.  
“We are officers Turner”, she gestured at Alex, “and Hogarth”, she pointed at herself.  
“I know”, he put the cup down. “Take a seat”  
Since Kane was occupying the sofa policemen sat on the chairs opposite from him.  
When Alex got himself comfortable he shot his eyes up and saw a small patch on Kane’s chest pocket.  
“’Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary’?”, Turner was almost bursting out with laugher. “We were promised a professional and all we’ve got is a fucking _evaluator_?”  
Kane was taken aback for a second but then he changed his facial expression and let Alex finish laughing.  
“In your opinion every evaluator carries a gun, Mr. Turner, am I right?”  
Alex immediately stopped smiling.  
Ann shifted in her seat.  
At that moment they realised Kane couldn’t be just an office worker. Only special forces are allowed to carry guns. And since Kane wasn’t an Authorised Firearms Officer, or AFO, that meant he was in another branch of HMIC. A hidden branch.  
“I was also promised professionals. All I can see now is two under-qualified employees who’d be getting their first strike, if I was an evaluator”  
Alex was burning a hole in Kane’s skull. Although when the other man looked him straight into the eyes Turner whisked away his gaze.  
“The case”, Ann saved the situation.  
“Oh, yes”, Kane sat back.  
Ann told him everything they collected so far, which wasn’t that much. The fact that the story for the most part was the same diminished a lot of information they thought was new and valuable.  
Kane listened with a bored expression mostly.  
“They shot the ceiling”  
“And, as we think, they had a reason for it now”, Alex added with a smug impression.  
Kane’s eyebrows went up.  
“What reason, Mr. Turner?”, the fact that the other man kept using Alex’ name made him furious. And it wasn’t even his idea that he was voicing, he was just repeating Ann’s words.  
“So you think it was something else?”, blessed Annalise was not joining any stupid games men had.  
“Of course”, when Kane saw that he had to elaborate he pushed himself forward and landed his elbows on the table. “They had to go unnoticed. Firing a gun would be seen, even in such dense cloud, and it would bring unwanted attention”  
“What if it was a warning?”  
“They filled the room with red gas. I believe it’s already a warning”  
He took the cup and finished his coffee.  
“And why did they shoot?”, Alex was not impressed by other man’s behaviour or by their conversation in general.  
“Not they. It was one person who fired their gun. A newbie in the group. He or she panicked”  
“A new member of the group? Is that your explanation?”, now Ann was sitting with a puzzled look on her face.  
“Yes. And they lost one of their own previously. But because they needed the exact amount of people they brought a new member”  
“This is just a theory”, Turner inclined his head.  
“Which you didn’t have until today. You’re welcome”, Kane stood up, left money for the coffee and headed towards the exit.  
Alex and Ann had to sit there for a while afterwards.

***

As much as it made Alex furious to think about it, the theory was actually working. Turner tried to forget what he was told by Kane, tried to distance himself from _just an assumption_ but the more he thought about it the more sense it made.  
When he gave up and discussed it with Ann he found out horrifying truth.  
“...He was right”, Hogarth almost whispered. It was obvious she didn’t want to admit it.  
After a hour of quiet debates and mindless notes they made a decision to speak with their chief.

Schmidt listened to them without a single word. At first she didn’t express any particular emotion but then she became more and more gloomy.  
“And if we pursue this theory then it narrows us down to five suspects. And we know the location of three of them”, Ann concluded.  
Nicole studied her face. Then she switched to Alex who sat silently during this whole time.  
“You got all of this from Mr. Kane?”, for some reason she was talking more to Turner.  
“No, not really”, Ann continued to speak. “We had this information. We just didn’t know how to tie it up together”  
Schmidt still had her gaze fixed on Alex who shifted in his chair.  
Then she looked at Ann.  
“Are you going to keep watch on the three suspects?”  
“Yes. They live together. There’re a few houses nearby, we could easily move there undercover”  
A small pause was broken by a sudden announcement.  
“I suggest taking Mr. Kane with you”  
“What?”, said Ann and Alex simultaneously.  
“I don’t like the way he shared information. This case meant more to him than he shows now. And who knows where he went after police. Keep an eye on him. If he’s clean then he could help you with the case at least”  
Unspoken _“And if he’s not…”_ hang up in the air.  
“And how will that work with his current job?”, inquired Alex.  
“I’ll take care of that”, Nicole was already dialling up a number.


	2. Chapter 2

Ann and Alex were sitting in Nicole’s office once again. They went over details they gathered in the last few days of close observation of the suspects’ house.  
“As we knew already there are three people living there, all of them in our database”, Ann was holding her notes. “Another suspect was seen at the house one day ago. We are not sure if they’re planning a robbery or not”  
Nicole sighed to calm down.  
“What else?”, she was saying as less as possible in order stay unperturbed.  
“Two of the suspects who live in the house seem to be in a romantic relationship”  
One corner of Nicole’s mouth twitched.  
“And you’re planning on using that”  
“When we go undercover I suggest that Mr. Turner and Mr. Kane … ehm… work together”  
Alex shifted in his seat. He wasn’t pleased by that decision at all. When Ann first told him about this particular part of her plan he started a ten-minute rampage why he doesn’t want to play happy gay family with “Miles fucking Kane”.  
“This way we can gain their trust much faster”, she repeated her words to their boss.  
“Will you go undercover yourself, miss Hogarth?”  
“Yes. I will be Mr. Kane’s sister since we bear more resemblance than Mr. Turner and I”, and it was true. Ann had a slightly crooked nose and it was kind of similar to Kane’s. Her eyes were dark green (“Come on, Alex, they look like a fucking swamp and we both know that”) and her hair were shoulder-length brown. Of course, if you know anything about genetics and if you look closely comparing Ann and Miles you’d see the difference. But Ann was sure it was going to work.  
“Let me hear your legends once again”, Schmidt sat back in her chair.  
“My name is David Garnett. I’m an office worker who saved money and bought a house for himself - sorry - for myself and my husband Peter Skelly, self-employed writer”, Alex blurted out in a way that it was obvious he had practising this line for a while already.  
“And I’m Peter’s sister Sarah. I’m a private math teacher and as a proof I’ll have calls from parents who want to employ me or talk about their child”, Ann was excited about acting and going undercover.  
“Very well, then. Find a person who’ll play the estate agent”, she turned to Alex “You and Mr. Kane should visit house today or tomorrow. Then move in a few days. During your work there you will not contact the police directly. You should not be seen here. Any others questions?”  
“No, ma’am”, Ann and Alex said simultaneously.

 

***  
The house they chose was just a building away from the one the suspects lived in. When Alex and Miles arrived the “estate agent”, middle-aged dark-skinned man in a grey suit, was waiting for them.  
The conversation didn’t need to be too loud but it still had to happen.  
All three of them went into the house. Alex was remembering the place, all of its exits and windows. You never know when you have to get out of the building in a matter of seconds.  
Miles was sort of just hanging nearby the agent who actually was one of the policemen. The man was eyeing Miles with a disgust in his gaze. Even if Kane noticed something he didn’t say a word.  
They went out of the house.  
“I love it”, said Alex with a stupid smile and went closer to Kane, hugging him with one hand. He noticed a neighbour passing by. It wasn’t one of their gang but it was still pretty valid to play in front of everyone, suspects or not. They need people to believe their lie. 

The first part was done.

 

***

They came back four days later in a taxi van full of boxes and other domestic stuff. During the unloading process they were all sweet and touchy and Alex noticed how even the driver wanted to puke from this PDA.  
They were more or less settled when someone, they already knew who, knocked on the door.  
Alex went to open it and was struck by the view in front of him for a second. It was Annalise but…it wasn’t her. She used a lot of contouring and highlighting (and yes, Alex knew what that was because a) it wasn’t their first undercover case and b) sometimes he went on youtube and watched people put make-up on their face and he’s convinced it’s fucking art) and put coloured contact lenses so now she definitely looked like Kane’s sister.  
“We should buy you a doorbell”, she smiled kindly and went it holding a cake.  
As soon as Alex closed the door her smile dropped.  
“What did you see?”  
“Not much. Just one of them taking away rubbish. Probably didn’t even notice us”  
“He did”, Miles wedged in coming down the stairs. He was now wearing a yellow turtleneck sweater and brown trousers which looked comfortable. Alex noticed the way Kane was supporting their act and being quite professional despite any…disturbance and disagreements. “His bag was almost empty. He was scanning the territory. They know we’re here”  
He went closer to Ann and took the cake from her.  
“Thank you, my lovely sister”, he faked a smile.  
Ann made a visibly forced smile back at him.  
“I’m gonna be here for another hour. Both of you should show me your house. Take longer in the backyard”, she took out the phone ready to take pictures.  
They went from the living room upstairs to the bedroom and bathroom. Ann was taking selfies alone and with the guys. It could’ve been just a normal thing for an outside viewer but only three agents knew how hard they were trying to capture windows in the pictures. They needed to know where to look and where to put surveillance cameras if needed.  
They finished their trip by going downstairs and to the backyard garden. “Sarah” was very excited about it but Ann was busy making sure the angle of her photos was good enough to capture the backyard one house away. It didn’t provide much but Hogarth was planning on studying the pictures closer later.  
“Alright. The real one this time”, Ann lifted her phone and made Alex and Miles stand closer to her with their house on the background. She took a picture and put away her phone.  
“Will you look at it later and regret I didn’t end up as your boyfriend?”, Miles said with a fake pity audible just for three of them.  
Ann was confused for a second but then she changed her expression into a threatening smile.  
“No, I’ll send it to you when we’re done with all this shit so you can look at it and cry while wanking in a hospital. Which is where you’ll end up if you continue to hit on me”, Ann stepped even closer and wrapped her arms around Miles’ neck.  
“Or you could be an idiot and keep making this comments while we’re still on our operation because yeah, sure, why not, it’s not weird at all”  
She hugged him and whispered to his ear. “But you’re not that stupid, are you?”

Miles hugged her back just to seem a good brother. Then he let go and added “It was a joke” with a smile. But there was more to it on his face. It was resembling a look of respect and interest.  
“Sure”, Ann smiled lightly.  
Alex was pushed aside by this interaction and he didn’t really mind.

When Hogarth left everything sort of calmed down. Alex was making adjustments in his weaponry and its placement around the house. Miles was sitting in the living room reading a book and he was generally enjoying himself.  
When Turner went into the kitchen to place a gun under the lid of the table Kane shifted his gaze and lazily looked at Turner through an arch that divided the kitchen and the living room.  
“Don’t put it there”  
“Why?”, Alex snapped. The very last thing he needed was advice from Kane. Well, apart from catching certain criminals.  
“The table will be used for civilian purposes almost all the time. Guests may sit there. How are you going to explain it?”  
Alex thought about it for a moment and weighted his options. After few seconds of consideration he decided against his idea.  
“And where should I put it, in your opinion?”  
“You should just give it to me”  
“Awhh, someone’s mad we took his gun”, Alex sounded like he was talking to a child.  
“No, I’m mad because you can’t stick the gun up your arse and fire it”, although his comeback was somewhat harsh, there was no real anger behind it.  
Alex opened his mouth and then closed it with no response.  
He chose to place the weapon in a drawer under the tray with cutlery.  
Miles was hiding his smirk and whether it was caused by Turner’s choice of storage or by his reaction to the comment about his arse remained a mystery.

***

When it was time to go to sleep they fought over bathroom on rock-paper-scissors like real adults who know how to deal with their problems. Alex won, by the way, and he was rubbing it in Miles’ face up until Kane went to the bathroom himself.  
When Alex lied down on the bed he caught a glimpse of what Miles was reading the whole day. The book was placed front cover down on the bedside table on Miles’ side but there was a title of the back as well. Just one word was enough for Alex to recognise _The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_.  
Alex enjoyed Adams’ style and he read the whole series a long time ago. The fact Miles was reading it as well was a bit frustrating. On one hand, Alex didn’t like Miles that much and sharing one of the favourite books with him was odd. On the other hand, Alex couldn’t deny Kane’s good looks and how even stupid sweaters suited him and he managed to pull them off decently.  
If Turner was to sum up his attitude towards the situation it would be something like “My work partner is cool and handsome but he’s also Miles Kane”.

By the time Miles went out of the bathroom Alex was already pretending to be asleep so there wouldn’t be any awkward encounters. Turner wrapped a blanket around himself and took the position on his side near one edge of the bed.  
Kane folded his clothes, turned off the lights and occupied half of the bed which he thought he deserved.

***

Alex went off to work in the morning. He was supposed to be an office clerk and police had a way of helping him with that act. There was a special office building which was the same as any other with an exception of the true purpose of that organisation. Every person there was an undercover policeman. They worked in secret, their papers looked just like any other office papers but the numbers were fake and the real work was done privately.  
Alex was there a couple of times and every time he considered it a very weird experience. You’re pretending to be working but you’re actually typing random numbers on your computer. And if you need to do actual work then you hide it so hard your colleagues shouldn’t even notice.  
When Turner stepped into the building he mentally prepared himself to waste the whole day.

Meanwhile, Miles was lazily tossing in the bed. He heard Alex leave couple hours ago but he chose to not respond to it in any way. After making the bed, quick shower and rummaging through his clothes Miles was in the kitchen cooking himself breakfast. Alex didn’t leave anything and Miles was considering creating a dramatic conflict over it just to annoy Turner.  
When Kane turned off the stove and poured himself coffee there was a knock on the door. Miles knew it wouldn’t be Alex or Ann so he had to put his guard up. But he had no idea how much.

The second he opened the door was the turning point. Up until that moment he thought his past couldn’t reach him anymore. He thought he could distance himself, forget the case, forget the police, forget his previous life.  
But it all went to shit with the person Miles was observing on his porch.  
“Hi”, the person smiled. “I’m Jonas, your neighbour”  
Miles knew his name, of course. Jonas Kangur. Swede. Born on 29th of July 1979. Has four piercings - two on his face (middle of lower lip and his nose) and two in his ears. Has bad eyesight, wears glasses so shooting is a problem for him. Presumably was a driver during the robbery.  
“I’m Peter”  
“Nice to meet you , Peter”  
Miles knew Jonas, or anyone else in the gang, didn’t know his face. He was doing his research distantly most of the time. And when they had a closer encounter, well, it was a mess and Miles was sure they couldn’t see him that time.  
Jonas shook his hand and continued to smile.  
“So you’re new here? We’ve seen you moving in yesterday”, that “we” was incredibly unsettling.  
“Yeah”  
Jonas lingered for a moment. Miles quickly took in the other person’s details. The ends of his dreads were dyed red. There was also a red wristband on his left hand. Jonas was wearing a dark-red t-shirt.  
All of this brought up another wave of anger, frustration, flashbacks and anxiety.  
Miles tried to breath evenly. He felt his hands shaking.  
“If you need any help… you know... with getting to know the area or just… neighbour help in general, you can come to us”, Jonas pointed towards his house.  
“Thank you very much”, Kane put on the kindest smile he could manage considering the circumstances. 

 

***

In the evening Alex made them go for a walk around the block in order to keep their cover and investigate closely while having a reason to be there.  
Miles told him about the visit while they were strolling on the pavement holding hands.  
“Do you think they know or suspect us?”  
“No. They are like this with everyone. Showing their politeness and being normal members of society”  
Alex laughed and pressed into Kane as if they were having a lovely chat about their happy life.  
“Why bother with that?”  
“They don’t. It’s a genuine thing. They try to cover their involvement with their cult”  
Alex stopped for a second and his fake smiled dropped.  
“What fucking cult?”  
“Remember what I said about the exact number of people for a robbery? It’s not about functionality, it’s about their belief, their tradition. Their actions are dictated by the orders of their leader”  
“Bloody hell. And I thought it was just an ordinary criminals. Now I own Ann fifty quid”  
“Well, you’re not very smart, are you?”  
Alex huffed, untangled their hands and stormed forward. In response to that Miles laughed and ran faster to catch up with his “husband”.  
Kane was slowly starting to adore Turner’s reactions to his teasing. And that was the last thing he should do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is so captivating to write, holy shit.

“I told you it was a cult!”, Ann exclaimed while still trying not to be too loud.  
She was sitting on the sofa in the living room, Alex next to her and Miles on the armchair.  
“It wasn’t that fucking obvious, okay?”, Alex crossed his arms in defence.  
Miles couldn’t bear his disappointed expression and decided to interrupt their conversation.  
“Well, I only found that out near the end myself. They hide thoroughly. And it’s a different sort of cult. It’s not religious and they don’t require more people”, Miles stretched his legs in front of him and crossed the shins.  
Alex turned at him with a look of confusion on his face. Did Kane just defend him?  
Of course, Ann noticed it as well.  
“I’m glad you two are getting along but you still own me fifty pounds”, she pointed at Turner.  
The men shifted uncomfortably at her comment. Alex stood up and went to take his wallet which he’d left in the bedroom upstairs.  
Annalise and Miles were left in the living room. Awkward silence hang in the air.  
Ann was confused about Kane in general. His actions and his behaviour didn’t match the image everyone was creating. So she decided to say nothing.  
Miles didn’t know how to start a conversation with a person who presumably hated him. He didn’t have to speak to anyone from his previous job because policemen tended to stay away from him and he never greeted them first. He was okay with that. Even if sometimes he wanted to say how sorry he was, he was still okay with that. Even if sometimes his ex-co workers bumped into him on the street and crooked their faces, he was okay with that. He knew he deserved it.  
“Miles?”, Alex was standing in front of him.  
Kane seemed to have gone back to memories and completely ignored Turner’s return to the room. Ann was already holding money in her hands.  
“Yeah. I’m just… I didn’t sleep well”  
The corners of Ann’s mouth went up.  
“Guys, we told you to play a couple for _other_ people, you didn’t need to bring it to your bedroom. But your dedication is impressing”  
By that moment Alex’ cheeks went red.  
“Ann, for fuck’s sake, we didn’t have sex”, he didn’t believe he had to justify himself.  
Hogarth kept smiling and Miles was just sitting there unable to find words. Alex and Ann were probably the first policemen from that particular department who spent more than ten minutes with him while simply speaking. No accusations, no questions. Plain and light banter.  
He suspected he shouldn’t attach to them too much because as soon as the case would be closed they’d go separate ways. But he wanted to enjoy the moment, short as it might be.

***  
And as if it wasn’t weird enough already the Universe aligned another set of events for the agents in the next two days.  
The first event included Jonas coming to their house and inviting them to the party which was held the following day.  
Miles was taken aback by that invitation and Alex started thinking that something was fucking wrong.  
Although Jonas just seemed polite and explained that they host neighbourhood parties once a month, it was still odd. Too convenient. Suspicion about Kane only got stronger. Who knew how close he got to them. Who knew how he wanted to revenge the police department. 

Turner was in the kitchen when Miles went up to their bedroom to choose what he’d wear, as Kane said. Alex sensed there was more to it.  
He went upstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. The bedroom was not that far from the stairs. Alex moved slowly, carefully placing one foot in front of the other. 

“What the hell is this?”, Turner exclaimed when he caught a glimpse of what Miles was doing.  
Kane froze as he was - adjusting the suspenders for the sheath. On his side under the armpit there was the knife itself.  
There were staring at each other for a moment without any movement.  
“Give it to me”  
“No”, Miles said in confusion.  
“How the hell did you even hide it?”, Alex asked but mostly himself. “You should not have any weapons. Give it to me”  
“Or what?”, Miles placed his hands on his hips.  
If the estimation was correct, from that position he’d need about one and a half seconds to retrieve the knife.  
Alex honestly didn’t have the answer. He knew he couldn’t call police directly. Calling Ann wouldn’t help much as well. But Miles wasn’t allowed to have weapons.  
Turner sighed. Trying to take the knife with force definitely wasn’t an option.  
“Just don’t wear a white shirt over it, okay?”, and with that Alex went out of the room and headed downstairs.  
Kane didn’t even have anything to answer to that. Did Alex allow him to have the knife? And then made a sassy remark? Wow.

Alex knew it wasn’t wise what he did. But, on the other hand, he can make Kane think he trusted him. If Miles was playing with all of them Alex wanted to be ready. He’d pretend to be completely ignorant while preparing for a betrayal.  
If Miles Kane wanted to fuck them up, he’d have a hard time doing that.

The second event that the Universe decided to unleash upon the agents the next day was Turner’s imagination.  
After finishing his lunch he grabbed his clothes and went to the shower. Shirt off, trousers off, pants off - all in a matter of seconds. Police training demanded it.  
Alex folded his cloth and put it beside the sink on the counter which took the place from one wall to another. He turned, made a few steps towards the bathtub and turned on the tab adjusting water temperature.  
As soon as Alex sank into hot water he knew he’d spend some more time than he planned in it. All the tension and tiredness from the past two months weighted him down. He didn’t usually let himself enjoy showers, it was just a quick five minute routine in the morning and then he went to work.  
And also he didn’t have a bathtub so he decided to use that opportunity now.  
Alex moved lower and rested his head on the edge. Warm water enveloped him relaxing tired body. After about three minutes of just lying there Alex felt the sleepiness creeping up him.  
He turned on the tap again and removed the plug so the water from the bathtub flowed away.  
At first shower gel felt cold on his fingers but then it quickly warmed up. Turner regretted not taking shower puff with him although it wasn’t such a big problem, he could wash with his bare hands.  
He went from his head down his body. Until the moment he reached his genitals he didn’t plan to wank but… fuck it, he thought. There was no reason not to and he needed to release some tension.  
Alex lay back and wrapped one hand around his cock. His eyes remained open since he wasn’t the only one in the house and he didn’t want to risk it.  
Slowly building up the rhythm he took a bit of gel on the fingers of his other hand and moved it under him. He knew the regular gel wasn’t the best option for lube and for the washing liquid but he used what he had.  
The anal muscles were tight at first and then began relaxing, letting one digit of a finger in. Keeping the grab on his cock he continued inserting the soaped finger in.  
The flow of water from the tap were much louder than his breathing.  
Eventually the muscles allowed two fingers in.  
And just as Alex was about to come his fucking brain decided to play with him. He wasn’t imagining anything in particular, some obscure pictures was running through his mind as he was stroking his cock but then his imagination threw a very particular face. No other than Miles fucking Kane was in front of him, and it was his hands on Alex’ cock and in his arse. And it was Miles fucking Kane who was smirking at him with his stupid fucking mouth with uneven row of teeth and for some fucking reason Miles was fully dressed in the bathtub but Turner couldn’t care less since he was coming at that moment.  
Returning his breath to normal Alex washed his hands and tried not to think too much of what just happened in his brain. Unsuccessfully. 

When he got out of the shower, which, unfortunately for Alex, was connected to the bedroom, Miles was standing there in front of a mirror in a green cable-knit sweater which was accompanied by black trousers. He looked like such a lovely fellow, middle-aged dad with a beautiful wife and a child, stable job and a planned trip somewhere to Scotland in the summer.  
Except he wasn’t all of that, of course.  
And he had a knife on his side.  
And Alex just wanked at the image of him like five minutes ago.  
Turner left his clothes on the top of the drawer and exited the bedroom because he couldn’t stand the way Miles looked at him as if he fucking _knew_.  
The evening promised to be interesting. 

***  
Even if a party was a fraud it was still quite popular. It was like that gang managed to deceive the whole neighbourhood and everybody showed up at their house.  
Alex and Miles quickly got lost in the crowd.  
“Do you recognise anyone?”, Alex inquired quietly as he pushed himself in Kane’s private space looking around them.  
“No. They all might just be neighbours”, warm breath felt funny on Alex’ ear. He still wasn’t over his bathtime.  
“Peter?”, Jonas approached them with a cup in his hand.  
“Hi”, Miles shook his other hand.  
“And you are?..”, he asked pointing at Alex.  
“This is David…my husband”  
Alex and Jonas shook hands as well.  
“Nice to meet you, David”  
Alex studied his reaction. There didn’t seem to be any suspicion or Jonas managed to hide it. He looked like a polite neighbour with a appearance of a punk, dreads, piercing, and all that stuff. 

No, it was too good, thought Alex. Suddenly he felt himself trapped. Miles was standing next to him and it seemed like he was blocking his way out. Jonas was somewhere close to them and he might’ve been looking, studying. All of the people in the room could be criminals and he wasn’t prepared. All he head was a little knife near his ankle but that wouldn’t be enough.  
Turner did send a message to Ann just before leaving their house and he had to call her later to notify of being alive and safe. But that wouldn’t fucking help at that particular moment. If something happens the best option would be that his dead body end up somewhere for police to find and arrest everyone who was at the party. Especially Miles Kane.  
“Let me introduce you to my housemates”, Jonas started leading them to the far end of the house to the separate room.  
This is it, thought Turner.  
To ensure himself few more seconds Alex took Kane’s right hand in his left.  
A simple gesture for a lover.  
An important gesture for a policeman who suspects his colleague in treachery and diverts his dominant hand from a weapon.  
Miles gave his hand rather willingly and if at first Alex relaxed a bit, then he started thinking of double bluff.  
Fuck.

They followed Jonas into the room where they saw few other people. Three of them seemed to be regular neighbours but there were two men among them who Alex and Miles knew beforehand. 

Kane squeezed his hands into fists. He knew Turner would notice it since their hands were still intertwined but he couldn’t help himself.  
Andreas Bergh and Emil Nödtveidt.  
A year difference between them, one born in 1977 and the other in 1976. Both have long black hair. Both are very good at shooting. Miles knew that on his own experience.  
“This is Andreas”, Jonas pointed at the man sitting on the sofa on his right. “And this is Emil”, on his left.  
Then he turned back to agents.  
“This is Peter and David, our new neighbours. They’re married”, he added that with a smile.  
Andreas all but fucking beamed. He stood up and raised his hand for a handshake in a slow graceful motion.  
“It is a pleasure to meet you”, Bergh had heavier accent than Jonas. But while he was shaking hands with Alex it was Emil who got Kane’s attention. Sitting silently on the sofa and seeping whatever it was in his cup. His posture was relaxed but his eyes were a completely different story. Light green, they were piercing you through as if their owner knew your deepest darkest secrets before you even opened your mouth. Emil seemed like a cougar, a hidden danger waiting to kill you.  
Kane shifted his eyes to Andreas who was having a chat with Alex.  
Turner was wearing his dumb expression which he used for all people he needed to fool. Open mouth and dumb eyes, what else do you need to make people believe your IQ is below hundred - not a slow person but just _average_.  
Andreas was a bit drunk and he laughed pretty loudly.  
The guy needed to be on stage with behaviour like this. His gestures were dramatic - the way he inclined his neck and the way he stood.  
Miles once observed Andreas having a smoke and it felt like Bergh was only lacking a fucking boa.  
Andreas was everything Emil wasn’t - loud, over-dramatic, sometimes cheerful. And way easier to read. A glimpse of a tattoo was seen peeking from where shirt was undone. Red ink buried in the skin. Of fucking course Andreas would do it. He wasn’t very subtle and Miles could bet his money Bergh would be the one to give out the whole gang.

Alex and him hang with a weird couple for a few more minutes and then went back to the main room.  
Slow tune started playing and Miles invited Alex for a dance. Strategically beneficial, of course, they had an ability to observe every direction while not bringing any attention to themselves.

 

Later they even managed to speak with other neighbours.  
“Oh, yeah, we cook together. I love seeing him all busy”, Alex looked at his “husband” goofy-eyed.  
Miles smirked and tried to hid his smile.  
“You have so much in common, that’s so sweet”, the woman speaking to them pressed a hand to her chest.  
“I know, right”, Alex laughed. “And we both love Douglas Adams, and don’t even get me started on The Guide”.  
Miles took a bit longer to respond this time.  
Alex…noticed. He noticed the book and he used it in a conversation. He wasn’t making a blunt lie, he was actually living his role.  
Maybe, after all, Alex wasn’t that bad of an agent. 

Just as they were about to leave a guy came past them and went straight to the room where Andreas and Emil were. He looked younger than three of the known suspects and the way he walked suggested he was quite stressed.  
Few seconds later Andreas exited the room with him and they headed to the door leading to the backyard. Andreas looked pissed which was a very sudden change in behaviour.  
“Vet du vad problemet är?”, Bergh spat as he was holding the door open for a younger man. He clearly wasn’t bothered by how loud he was speaking since it was in Swedish. “Du är inte Ole”, Andreas went out after the other man and closed the door.  
Emil appeared in the doorway of the room two men just exited looking around the guests. Alex thought he was lingering his gaze only on Miles and him.  
“Do you know who that was?”, Kane whispered to his ear. He did so while hugging him so it looked like another PDA.  
“Yes”, Alex whispered back. “Oscar Leander. The youngest of our suspects. We weren’t sure he’s connected to them but…I guess he is”  
Miles didn’t respond. Instead he backed a little from a hug and lightly pecked Alex on the lips.  
“Let’s go home”, he said louder than they were speaking before.

***

 _Do you know what the problem is? You’re not Ole._  
Two sentences burned his head since the moment Miles heard them from Andreas at the party.  
Of course, Kane knew Swedish. He started learning the basics while he was investigating the case in between staring at the files and trying to find out where the gang was. Now he was somewhat fluent in it and he wasn’t learning it out of profitability or just in spite. He liked the language. And finally it came in handy.  
_You’re not Ole._  
Miles knew who Ole was. But he had to read it. He wanted to see the words written. He had to remind himself.

***

Alex put the kettle on. He didn’t feel like eating but he needed to take a break. He even looked forward to coming to “work” the following morning because nothing happened there. All action took place in their so called home and Alex still couldn’t bring himself to that change. Before going undercover he worked as a mule in the police department and then dragged his tired body home to throw some food in his mouth and throw hid body on the bed afterwards.  
This undercover was something and a half.  
It’d been just a week since their meeting with an estate agent but it felt like a month. Full four days undercover in this house and he was already used to it. He was used to having a bathtub instead of shower, he was used to the placement of cutlery in the kitchen, used to sitting at the table while eating rather than standing in his small old kitchen and hurriedly stuffing his mouth with sandwiches before work.  
Alex couldn’t say that he was already used to having someone else in the house. He lived alone for a long while, away from his parents. His relationship didn’t come to the stage of living together. He was seeing some people, sure, but the furthest they went was sleeping at his or theirs apartment at night and then going on with their lives until the next meeting.  
His longest relationship was with a woman called Alexa Chung. They had to break up because of his new work. When Alex finished his training and the real work at National Crime Agency began there was no time for someone else. Alexa felt that too. After a month of missed dates, stress and overall confusion they felt like they were not going to last long. It was a mutual decision to break up and they remained friends.

Suddenly Alex wanted to call Alexa. They hadn’t talked in a while and he craved to feel something familiar for a change.  
Taking out his phone he dialled the number by memory. Turner had to remember that kind of stuff since he changed his secure phone every two months and even more often when he was undercover. And he wasn’t allowed to take his private phone here.  
While he was listening to the beeps coming from the speaker the kettle started whistling. As he stood up the voice on the other side of the line answered the call.  
“Hello?”  
“Hi. It’s me, Alex”  
“Oh”, she sounded sleepy. Alex looked at the watch and realized how late it was. “Hi, Alex”  
“How are you?”  
“Tired, really,” Alexa laughed but it was more of a nerve thing. “But okay in general. We have a new software so everything runs smoothly now”  
Alexa was the main editor of a magazine. Alex bought it from time to time to support his ex-girlfriend and because it was a really good magazine.  
“Good,” he wasn’t actually sure what to say.  
“Is everything okay? I mean, I’m glad to hear you. _Alive_ ,” she knew his work implied danger at any time. “…but it’s kind of late”, she tried to laugh it off but Turner sensed how she wanted to end this conversation and go to sleep.  
“I…Yeah. Everything’s okay. Just wanted to hear ya,” he managed to pour himself some tea and put the cup of the table.  
They talked for another minute and then wished each other good night.  
In the end Alexa added small and genuine “Be careful, Alex” and it made his heart squeeze a little. 

As he was almost finished with his tea he rubbed his face and found out there was still a smell of shower gel coming from his forearms. Only now it was mixed with a smell of Kane’s cologne.  
Which reminded him of the owner of said cologne.

Alex went up the stairs. He didn’t plan to walk quietly it just so happened that he didn’t produce much noise. Maybe that’s why Miles didn’t notice him. Or he didn’t care.  
“What are you doing?”, Alex exclaimed. He couldn’t believe what he saw.  
Miles was sitting on the bed with the fucking case files on his lap.  
“You know we can’t have them in here!”, Alex continued with his rampage.  
Kane lazily tore his eyes away from the paper, looked at Turner and raised his eyebrows.  
“Sure, Al”, he was so unperturbed it infuriated Alex even more. “By the way, your hiding place under the kitchen counter is not that great”  
It was like a cold shower.  
So Miles knew Alex took his files and notes too and he even knew their location.  
Turner could no longer accuse him without being openly hypocritical.  
Fuck.  
It was time to get defensive.  
“Why would you need to bring them out anyway”  
Kane smirked at Turner’s change of tactics but showed him the files anyway.  
“Do you remember how Andreas said something in Swedish to Oscar?”  
“Yeah?”, Alex was already confused.  
Miles told him the translation and Turner rolled his eyes.  
“What?”, Kane almost dared him to elaborate.  
“I’m just surprised, you know. The suspect giving away information like that. And you suddenly knowing the language they speaking. Seems unlikely,” Alex sat back on the bed leaning on his palms behind him.  
“Are you going to listen to me or what?”, Miles inclined his head and lifted one corner of his mouth.  
Alex was becoming more and more convinced it was all just a big fucking joke, a fraud, an affair, and all the other synonyms.  
But as he planned to do already, he was pretending to be oblivious. Kane wouldn’t kill him that night, too many people saw them going away together.  
Miles saw no response from Alex as a way to keep talking.  
“Now that we know the fifth member we know his role. Oscar replaced Ole. Ole Öhman was presumably the person who threw in a gas-bomb. He was a starter”  
Alex took in the information.  
“So… If Leander would appear somewhere… Like, a bank, for example. It would win us a few minutes”  
“Pretty much, yeah”  
A pause.  
“Why would they go to the backyard?”  
Miles actually smiled at this one.  
“That is what I was thinking about. Oscar came in the middle of the party and put Andreas in a temper. And it had something to do with an ex-member of the group”  
“Maybe they have some sort of a problem”, Alex suggested slowly.  
“And considering what I said, Ole worked with gas as Oscar does now. Oscar comes to Andreas because of it”  
“So the gas bombs are in the backyard?”  
Miles nodded. “I guess so”  
Turner sighed. Then he lay down on his back and closed his eyes.  
“You can call Ann tomorrow and ask what she found from the photos,” he heard Miles standing up from the bed and going out of the room. When Alex opened his eyes there was no files. So, Kane went to hide them. Alex thought about following him and finding out his special secure place but he couldn’t be bothered at the moment. Miles would probably change the location so what’s the point.  
About five or ten minuted later Miles came back to the bedroom and said the phrase that started a very weird chain of events.  
“Next time brew tea in _your_ cup”, and as it was already time to go to bed Kane started pulling off his sweater.  
“Nothing here is ours”  
“Yeah, but for the sake of it, that was my cup”, Miles added it more quietly but Alex couldn’t help himself and continued arguing.  
“A good husband would’ve let me use his cup,” Alex lifted on his elbows.  
Kane came closer to bed as he was, in black trousers and with his bare torso.  
“I’m not your husband,” he said smugly.  
“It’s a pity, Kane”, Turner smirked. “We make such a good old bickering couple already”  
“Arguing and spying on our neighbours, yeah,” Miles undone his belt.  
“And no sex”

Alex meant it as a joke.  
They both knew it.  
They fucking knew it was a joke and that they both were tired and should probably go to sleep instead of staying up late.  
But Miles couldn’t help it.

“You want to change it?”

They locked eyes. Somewhere deep down Miles knew he should pretend it was a joke too. Somewhere deep down Alex knew he should laugh and get out of the room. Both of them didn’t listen to their inner selves.  
Miles let go of the belt he was still holding and after approaching Alex even more closely he straddled him. But he didn’t do anything else giving Turner the opportunity to back off from this. 

Alex was pined down to bed by the weight of the other man and it was just as pleasurable as he thought. And, oh so conveniently, Alex took a bath not so long ago. As if the Universe set it up just for him.  
Kane was still not sure if Alex fully wanted it. He sat on his thighs pressing him down into the sheets and it felt like he was pressuring Alex to give in as well. Miles didn’t want that. If they have sex then it’d be a consensual decision, not only his will.  
Seeing Kane so frustrated was funny. Alex would’ve laughed if he was in the mood for that but right now his mind was onto other matters.  
Alex lifted one of his arms and pulled Miles down by his neck instantly placing a kiss on his lips.  
Miles took it as an invitation to go a bit further. He started undoing Turner’s shirt button by button. He broke the kiss but only to move to the skin on the man’s jaw and neck.  
“The condoms are… in the bathroom,” Alex said quietly with his voice already hoarse.  
Miles back off a bit. “You bought condoms?”  
“I thought you did,” Alex’ arousal lessened a little.  
They stared at each other.  
“If it was Ann, I swear to God…” Turner rolled his eyes once again as Miles was already on his way to the bathroom.  
Kane went back quite quickly and threw the condoms and a lube on the bed. He undone his trousers completely and pulled it off with the pants. Alex did the same, only while he was lying on the bed.  
Now the situation started dawning on them. It became real. They were really doing it.  
Alex didn’t want to stop at that point, he was too far gone.  
“Come here”  
Miles put one knee on the bed and leaned forward placing his palms on both sides from Alex.  
They kissed again and it was longer this time.  
A series of wet open-mouthed kisses on the Turner's neck and chest followed it.  
Alex reached for the lube and squeezed some on his fingers. He dragged his hand under him and placed a lubed finger on the ring on muscles.  
His bathtub fantasy became real in a way. He still had his own fingers up his arse only now it was Miles on top of him lazily wanking him off.  
Couple of moments later Kane was putting on the condom.  
He bent Turner’s legs in his knees and almost folded the other man with his weight.  
The first movement inside was gentle and even caring. Miles was slow and he tried to read every emotion on Turner’s face. When Alex somewhat relaxed Miles started moving very carefully.  
They build up the rhythm together, Alex was encouraging him by a sweet smile or he was asking him to slow down with a grip on his forearm.  
Tentative and slow at first they finished with heavy thrusts.  
Alex didn’t remember or care who came first. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the moment. A few seconds later he felt other man’s lips touch his. Then he disappeared.  
Miles went to the bathroom to threw away the condom and to wash his face. When he came back Alex tried not to look him in the eyes too much.  
As soon as the bathroom was empty he occupied it and took a very fast shower.  
By the time he returned to bedroom Miles was asleep or at least successfully pretended to.  
When Alex’ head hit the pillow the man fell asleep almost immediately himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feedback is appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering what lovely fellows from the cult are they are basically musicians from Swedish metal-band Deathstars. I'm not mentioning them in the tags because the work is about Alex and Miles and I just wanted to take the appearance of those six guys. Ole _did_ leave the band and Oscar _is_ the youngest member. I'm not saying anything about Andreas/Emil  (but it's my fucking otp).


End file.
